Intuitive

I was just thinking about Intuition this morning and how we’re all gifted with it. Not just mothers, not just women and certainly not just those born under specific star signs.

As I coast into my 30s I realise that it’s all a matter of really listening to the cues your body gives you. What does your heart say? Your brain? Why is there a sudden adrenaline spike? What is that tug at the pit of your stomach? Why does your hand reach out to the left option automatically? I have always second guessed these decisions but I’m slowly learning to trust my intuition and see where it guides me.

Very forward thinking, no? Makes you feel like hey, she’s got things under control. Nope.

After this whole internal spiel about Intuition and trusting my body, I went about my daily routine: Cats, Shower, Skincare, Essential Oils, Prayers and Setting Intentions. After all that was done, I was feeling content but I suddenly felt something pull at my core. I felt such an overwhelming sense of sadness and I had no idea why. So I asked myself what I wanted to do with this and I replayed what my therapist said: “If you feel it, just feel it. What’s so bad about crying and letting go?” She said this because I had a tendency to suppress my feelings until the cup overflows (or bursts) so to speak. Therefore, feel I did. I found a corner and cried big fat horrible tears even though there was nothing that triggered me to feel sad.

Unfortunately for me, these were not healing tears. They made me feel worse than I when I started. And let’s just fast forward to present time: I had a HUGE ROW with my partner which made me feel double the sadness than when I finished crying!

Therefore, my question right now is: should I have really listened to that voice inside my head? Is my intuition broken? Or am I meant to go through all that heartbreak in order to get better things?

Wait. That’s more that one question. Oh well.

Let me know what you think peeps. Do you trust your own intuition? Does it lead you down the path of convenience and safety or does it lead you to where you’re meant to be?

What Even?!

Oh. My. God.

It’s been a good 4 and a half years since my last blog entry. I don’t even know if blogging is still a thing. I’m guessing it is since my IG timeline is still full of bloggers and influencers. Did we already have that word coined in 2014? Oh God, I’m not starting to sound like I’m 60, am I?

Hang on, I need a breather.

Alright.

Well, the only reason I’m turning back to blogging is because my therapist thought it would be a good idea to start journaling again. I do write things down with pen and paper but sometimes my narcissism gets the best of me and I find publishing my thoughts a much better form of therapy.

For one, it forces me to write in complete sentences with good grammar (for the most part) and two, I have to reread what I’ve written which in turns help me realise that things aren’t that bad. It basically turns the anxiety down a notch.

Now the only problem with blogging is my lack of consistency. It’s a recurring theme in my life. So I’m trying to commit myself to posting once or twice a week on stuff that I like. It won’t be as cute as before. At 32, I barely feel cute but I do feel badass most times. I am also quite Salty now so that’s a heads up for all of you. Anyway, you guys (the 2 people who read my blog) will be able to hold me accountable for the steady stream of posts.

Well, that was a good start. I’m just going to submit this coz it’s on my to do list and my fingers are itching to cross it out. I’ll try to reorganise and archive everything by next week so it will be easier to navigate.

See ya folks lay-tah!